I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
If you love him, set him free, if he doesn't come back, you know he's with me!
The road is full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their mind.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
What trailer park did you grow up in?
It's only funny until some one gets hurt, then it's hilarious!
I'm still looking, but you will do for now.
The road to success is always under construction.
I'm not gifted, I'm weird!
The only thing cuter than me is my reflection.
When in doubt, throw him out.
Life is short and so am I.
Friends don't let frinds dress like hoochies!
Guys are like roses, you have to watch out for the pricks.
Heaven won't have me and Hell is afraid I will take over.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the priviledge.
Guys are like slinkies, it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs!
Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies lives.
A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!
Last night I was looking at the stars, the I started wondering, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"
It's not the size of the dog, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, but then I realized that suicide is a crime.
I'm an angel, honest, the horns are there only to keep the halo on straight.
If true love hides behind every corner, I must be walking in circles.
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer?
4 out of 5 voices in my head tell me to go back to sleep.
Guys are pigs, and of course I always get the runt!
Ever stop to think, and then forget to start agin?
Spiteful words hurt your feelings, but silence breaks your heart.
If being sexy was against the law, I would be in prison for the rest of my life.
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
I told my mom I stopped raising Hell and she called me a quitter!
In life, only one person gets to shine, so move out of my way, you're blocking the light!
I'm sorry, do I look like I was listening?
Boys are bad, throw rocks at them all.
I'm just like Heaven, everyone wants to get to me.
You are as fake as press-on nails!
Did you know that I'm invisible, but only when no one is looking.
Treat me like your angel and I'll be your little devil!
Go find a straw because you suck.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
An error isn't a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
I think, therefore I'm single.
If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence that you tried.
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Life is short
so party we must!
Just because I live in the city doesn't mean that I'm not wild!
Does anybody actually got milk?
Love me now, or love me neva,
but if you love me, love me foreva.
Don't flatter yourself....I was looking at your friend.
Live free, die proud.
have fun, play loud!
Hey, look on the bright side... not everyone hates you as much as I do.
Cute enough to make you look twice
sweet enough but not too nice
a lil' crazy but not too wild
I'm the kinda girl that'll make you smile.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
but revenge is too!
You! off my planet!
I love not being you.
Just cause you're not paranoid, that doesn't mean they're not out to get you!
Its worse than you think, they ARE out to get you!
If you didn't have feet, would you wear shoes? No? Then why do you wear a bra?
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun
and squirt it into other people's eyes!
This isn't Burger King, so you can't have it your way.
I try not to let school interfere with my social life.
I knew that something was wrong when my imaginary friends would not play with me.
Judge me all you want, but just keep the verdict to yourself.
Isn't having a smoking section in a resturaunt sort of
like having a peeing section in a pool?
Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.
Are you tormented by my beauty?
Four important words in life: Cheat, Lie, Steal, Drink.
If you Cheat, cheat death. If you Lie, lie about your age.
If you Steal, steal someone's heart, and if you Drink, have one with me!
Sometimes I dream about being caried off by a big giant squirrel.
Does that make me a nut?
It's not "When Wild Animals Attack!"
It's more like "When Stupid People Get Bit!"
Hey, look on the bright side, not everyone hates you as much as I do.
I wanna die like my Grandpa, peaceful in his sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
It's okay to kiss a fool. It's okay to let a fool kiss you. But never let a kiss fool you.
When God made me, he was just showing off.
